Grey Divorce Advice for Alberta

Spectrum Family Law is pleased to announce that their senior family law lawyer Peter Graburn has now expanded his family law practice to provide Mediation and Mediation-Arbitration services across Alberta. Peter now brings his over 35 years experience in high profile, high conflict, complex litigation to help clients resolve their family law disputes in a more private, confidential and cost-effective manner.

“Grey Divorce” – a term we hear a lot recently in Alberta family law. It can go by many names: ‘diamond divorce’; ‘silver separations’, or even “silver or diamond splitters’, etc. But whatever it’s called, separation and divorce later in life has significant financial and legal implications for both spouses, due to the long duration of the relationship and the spouses’ stage of life, particularly when dealing with a division of substantial assets (ie. ‘high net worth’ couples) or a continued high income available to pay spousal support between the parties.

What is ‘Grey Divorce’?

So what is “Grey Divorce”, and why is it talked about so much? “Grey Divorce” is a term generally used to describe the increasing world-wide trend of couples over 50 who choose to end their long-term relationships (some of over 40 years) whether they are married or not. The rate of divorce for those over the age of 50 has doubled over the past 20 years. But “Grey Divorce” in Alberta may more specifically refer to ‘high net worth” couples (those whose net family property exceeds $1M) and high-income couples (incomes over $250,000/year) who decide to separate and divorce after a long-term (ie. 20+ year) or second (third?) relationship.

Why ‘Grey Divorce’?

But why is “Grey Divorce” so prevalent? Obviously, each couple will have their own individual reason(s) for wanting to end their personal relationship, but some of the main reasons older people may want to end their long-term relationship include:

• Differing views on retirement – after years of working, some want to retire and relax (travelling, reading, gardening, etc.); some want both spouses to keep on working;
• Financial Clashes – after years of accumulating assets, some want to enjoy the ‘fruits of their labour’; some want to save that wealth for a ‘rainy day’, or keep it for their children;
• Empty Nest Syndrome – once their children have left and only the couple remain in the family home, new or long-term differences between the couple may become more prominent and less tolerated;
• Changing Expectations – with longer life expectancies and significant accumulated wealth (and perhaps the influence of social media), many “Baby Boomers” are looking for greater happiness and fulfillment outside of a traditional lifestyle and relationship.

Dealing with ‘Grey Divorce’

Whatever the reasons for the increase, the financial and legal implications of “Grey Divorce” (particularly on ‘high net worth’ and high income spouses) are significant. Some of the main issues and considerations in dealing with “Grey Divorce” include:

• Implications of Rising Life Expectancy – Canadians are living longer than ever before (an average of 81.3 years in 2022). “Baby Boomers” need to plan how they are going to fund their post-retirement lifestyle (both basic and discretionary expenses, as well as healthcare, etc.) for a much longer period of time than previous generations. For many, this planning has involved the combined assets and on-going incomes of both spouses. Upon “Grey Divorce”, the objective is that the spouses separate and become independent (both emotionally and financially) of each other (as much as possible).  How do you do that?;
• Financial Planning and Implications – most couples do not (some do) plan and structure their lives and financial situation based on the possibility their family relationship will one day end – they meet, (some) marry, live together, work, (some) have children, and accumulate assets and debt. But how these assets and debt are held and structured during their relationship is important upon the end of that relationship (ie. upon separation and divorce). Some of these assets are easy to divide (ie. RRSPs, stocks, etc.). But some are not so easy (ie. the family home). And how do you divide debt?;
• Legal Implications – finally, there are considerable legal implications of “Grey Divorce”. As we indicated in a previous article (see: Calgary ‘Grey Divorce’ Family Lawyers,), “Grey Divorce” involves a unique interplay between the family law concerns of financial support and an equitable division of family and non-family (ie. exempt) property at the end of a long-term relationship later in life. Particularly for ‘high-income’ spouses, “Grey Divorce” involves some special rules and considerations when dealing with a spouse’s obligation to pay financial support to the spouse (spousal support) and children (child support).

Resolving ‘Grey Divorce’

So what is the best way to deal with the financial and legal implications of “Grey Divorce”? As previously indicated (see: What is Family Law Mediation/Arbitration in Alberta?), there are a number of processes along the ‘dispute resolution continuum” to resolve family law disputes, including Mediation, Mediation-Arbitration and Court. In the writer’s opinion, Family Law Mediation and Family Law Mediation-Arbitration are the better way to resolve family law disputes than Court, particularly for ‘high net worth’ and high income spouses going through a “Grey Divorce”, because it’s faster, cheaper and in many ways betterthan Court. But perhaps more importantly, it’s private and confidential. After a long-term relationship, this is perhaps the better way.

Separation and divorce is difficult, no matter what stage of life it arises. Is it more difficult if it arises later in life, after having built a relationship, raising children, developing careers and accumulating property? Maybe not – it’s always difficult, for everyone (including children). But the process for resolving issues arising out of that long-term relationship doesn’t have to be difficult.

About Peter Graburn

Peter has broad experience in the areas of civil rights, aboriginal law and family law, in both mediation and advocacy roles. He works hard to ensure that his clients are seen, heard and well spoken for. Peter is a skilled and effective practitioner, able to assist his clients resolve their differences in a practical, respectful, and cost-effective manner.

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